The Journey from “I-TO-WE” encompasses a 24-step comprehensive program, created for the purpose of helping couples achieve a safe, peaceful, joyous, passionate, and loving relationship. Married couples, life partners, couples who are separated and looking for a way to reunite, and pre-marital couples who are considering taking final vows of marriage all benefit from following such a uniquely structured roadmap. The “Co-Create a Conscious Relationship”™ program reveals to couples or couples-to-be the awareness, skills, and techniques to build a firm foundation for a successful relationship. Additionally, an individual who has endured relationship difficulties in the past can also gain insights from this book to facilitate success in his or her next relationship opportunity.

As we all know, relationships are not easy; they require work! When we begin a career, we go to college to learn, and then we are given a manual to gain the skills needed and then practice the techniques to make us good at that job. Until now there was no manual or comprehensive training guide for couples. The Co-Create a Conscious Relationship™ program guides couples to gain the awareness, learn the skills, and practice the techniques in 22 areas of a relationship so they can have the best chance of success.

The Journey from “I-TO-WE”™ is the culmination of a dream. It is my privilege and passion to help couples find a way to a safe, loving, peaceful, joyous and passionate relationship for the rest of their lives. I hope this book can launch you and your partner on your journey to love the one you’re with and live the life you both want to love.

Divorced, I have taken part in many failed relationships and made numerous mistakes in my life. These painful experiences led me on my journey to research and learn all I could about myself and to gain the ability to have a happy and successful relationship. My hope is that I can help you avoid the same mistakes I made.

Many brilliant and dedicated men and women have researched and developed successful skills and techniques to help couples find safety, friendship, trust, respect, admiration, joy, passion and love in their relationships. Each of these wonderful people has written books and workbooks to assist couples in areas of their expertise. Such masters include Dr. Harville Hendrix and his concept of Imago, Dr. John Gottman and his outstanding research into the interactions of couples, Daniel Goleman and his theory of Emotional Intelligence, and Dr Patricia Love and Jo Robinson in their approach for couples to inspire passionate intimacy in their relationship.

My concept for this program was to model the “best of the best” in each of the most important areas. I then blended their ideas with my own life experiences and the knowledge gained from my research and coaching couples. The “Co-Create a Conscious Relationship”™ program, as a result, uniquely encompasses all of the crucial areas and aspects of a couple’s relationship and presents them in a simple, structured, powerful, and, most importantly, practical format.

I want to share with you one of the most important insights I have gained and now practice in my life every day. I live by the belief that most outcomes in life present 80/20 results. For example, I strive for 100% but realize that if I receive 80%, I feel successful. Such an outlook helps me stay grounded with realistic expectations and perspectives. In regard to relationships, I know nothing is perfect and that a relationship cannot be 100% positive all the time; each is an evolving process. My objective for this book and as a relationship coach is to help couples gain the awareness, learn the skills, and practice the techniques to achieve a relationship in which 80% of the interactions are positive and only 20% are negative. The goal is to maximize the energy of the 80% positive; at the same time, commit to being conscious and working together to minimize the effects of the 20% negative.

My mantra—to be “Best Friends during the Day, Lovers at Night, and Partners for Life”©— is the guiding force behind this program. The first part, being “Best Friends during the Day,” is the basis for the first section, which begins with the “I.”

The second section is the most difficult of this program. The hard work—the process of gaining awareness of moving from the self “TO” a world of deep listening, understanding, and empathizing with each other—is conducted here. You will take absolute personal responsibility for your words and actions. You will commit to learn, stretch, grow, mature, and change. During this phase you will reach out to help each other with your fears, emotional wounds, and needs. You will gain the awareness, learn the skills, and practice the techniques to have successful communication, to work together to compromise, and to love the essence of who your partner is.

The third section of this book will complete the journey to becoming “WE.” You will continue to use all of the awareness, skills, and techniques you learned and practiced to take the relationship to the next level. You will solidify the safety, friendship, and deep connection you have created and bring “aliveness” of passion and meaning into your lives.

You will find 24 steps in the “Co-Create a Conscious Relationship”™ program. I have learned that most read a book and quickly forget the material upon turning the final page. Consequently, I have structured the coaching process and the book to include multiple exercises that build upon and reinforce the awareness, knowledge, skills, and techniques learned in each chapter.
I begin each chapter with an in-depth explanation of the material followed by challenging written exercises and discussion assignments. Most of the exercises require the couple to work separately at first by completing their exercises in their own books. Then they will use the Conscious Listening technique to listen, understand, and empathize with each other and write their partners response in their own books. The process allows them to gain new awareness, acquire the skills, and practice the techniques to Co-Create a Conscious Relationship.™

The exercises in this program have been called “fun,” “serious,” “uncomfortable”, “enlightening,” and “demanding.” They will challenge you to face your fears and stretch beyond your comfort zone. You will examine many aspects of yourself, your partner, and your relationship in a way you have never experienced. You will be asked to be vulnerable, empathetic, courageous and honest, and to accept absolute personal responsibility for your words and actions. You will need to give 101% effort to being present and emotionally available for your partner, the relationship, and this process.

The chapters end with reviews to summarize the awareness, skills and techniques learned. Couples also review previous chapters, and develop and commit to a plan with goals to ensure that the new awareness, skills, and techniques are engrained into their consciousness.

A couple’s working together and valuing each chapter is critical. Agreeing to participate in this journey and then only paying lip service to being committed, taking shortcuts and not being fully involved in the process will cheat your partner and your relationship. The more you put into each area, the more you will gain. By aiming to give 101% of yourself, you and your partner will enjoy the full benefit of the program. Remember, it takes two to “Co-Create a Conscious Relationship.”™